So let’s talk…
Last year I up and relocated to Georgia. I had an opportunity to leave Ohio, where I was born and raised, so I jumped at it. I thought that me being in a new location would help improve the mood swings, anxiety, and slight depression I felt myself shifting into. For a while it did. I was happy, I was traveling, and I was living. If you’ve been following me then you read my previous post “So I Did A Thing” and you know how excited I was for my big move. Being in a new place, surround by new people was an experience for me, forsure, but was it enough?
Fast forward, six months, some issues happen in my personal life that effects my career. It shook things up for me, but did I give up? No, well not completely. I continued producing my books, continued smiling, and continued trying to be and stay happy. So, what changed? Nothing, and that was the problem. I was in a new location but the issues I was dealing with back home didn’t just up and go to a new location too, they followed me and the issues I was having with my career only intensified them.
Now here we are 2019 and I barely want to get out of bed. I don’t want to talk to anyone, I don’t really care for social media, I just didn’t want to be bothered. It got to a point where I didn’t even want to write books anymore, I’m a full time author so I kind of had no choice, it was just bad. Things in my life on the outside looked good but, on the inside, I felt like I was drowning and no one would throw me a life jacket to help me, so what happened? I did something to change it.
One thing in the black community I believe we neglect is our mental health. Something so important we put so little time into making sure it’s taken care of. I released I was doing this and made some changes in my life. I started going on personal dates alone, one to twice a week, nowhere special maybe a movie, or the park, just somewhere alone. I took mental days where I didn’t touch my phone and laid around reading all day. I got out the house, even it was just to go to Starbucks to work, it was a new environment. Most importantly I went to talk to someone. My therapist was GOD sent! I won’t go into details on that this entry but be on the look out for it.
Anyways the whole point of all this is to say that I relocated my life hoping it would make me happier and for a little bit it did, but then it didn’t. The issues I was facing weren’t being dealt with. The feeling a being trapped and confided kept over taking me and oddly the only place I felt like I was okay was at home, the original place I was running from.
A lot of people always speak on how they can’t wait to leave their hometown, especially where I’m from, for whatever reason but I learned that running away doesn’t solve anything. If you’re unhappy and dealing with something, then you have to face it head on before trying to move away. All you’re doing when you move is suppressing the issues which ends up hurting your mental health in the long run. As I stated before self care is most important. You can’t run away from your problems and think it’ll make everything okay. When I tried I was actually more depressed then I was originally.
Being in a new place around new people is great and I still high encourage anyone to take a leap of faith to relocate from what you’re used to. It’s a whole world out there waiting to be explored but you’re not going to be able to enjoy it running from past demons.
I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments.