So Let’s Talk…
One thing I was taught growing up and I’m sure a lot of you were taught as well is Family is everything. I always felt like I was obligated to be there for my siblings, my mom, cousins, whoever because we share blood, but when those same people start causing you more stress than positive in your life should you be obligated to keep them around?
Two years ago I stopped speaking to my older sister. A situation happened, some words were said and I haven’t spoken to her since. Don’t have the desire to either. That situation showed me that even family can turn their backs on you. That family isn’t always supportive and happy for you. That even family can cause you suffering. That moment was a turning point in my life where I promised myself I would never allow anyone to disrespect or talk to me any kind of way just because they’re related to you.
Recently I made the choice to keep one of my brothers at arm’s length. The way he was living his life and the stress he was bringing to mine just wasn’t worth it. Every time I thought about him it gave me a headache. Every time I talked to him I felt like it was an argument. I was always giving, and giving when it came to him to the point it became draining to me. Caused me to shut down and grow tired. That’s when I decided to make a change.
So the point of all this is to tell you guys it’s okay not to deal with people, including family. Anyone that is constantly taking from you and not adding even value is not someone you want around you. Anyone who is bringing negative energy to you is someone you don’t want around. If you feel like your mood is constantly compromised or like it’s a task to deal with someone then it’s okay to let go. You are not obligated to keep ANYONE in your life who hurts you, who doesn’t value you, who makes you feel less than you are.
It took a while for me to get this through my head. I always felt guilty when it came to cutting off family, telling them no when they asked me for something, not picking up the phone but then I got over it. Protecting my peace was the MOST IMPORTANT thing. If I wasn’t 100% then I was no good to anyone, including me! I recently read an article that helped me realize that it was time to let go.
Sadly all eight factors played some type of relevance in my life. They helped me open my eyes a lot of things I was taking in my life that I didn’t have too.
Not only did I make the choice to cut off family but I cut “friends” off as well. The ones that only called to gossip or talk about nonrelevant stuff in my life. The ones who would call to get me to help them but could never help me when I needed it. The ones that continued to just take and take, HAD TO GO. Was it easy letting these relationships go? NO, but was it necessary? YES! Protecting your peace is the main things when it comes to your livelihood. I wrote a post on Self-care a few months ago and it goes hand and hand with this post. Reading it could be beneficial.
To sum everything up for you guys, DO NOT be afraid to cut out anyone in your life that is not helping you keep your peace. Family, friends, co workers, girlfriends, boyfriends, whoever. Make YOU your number one priority. Self-Care is the KEY!
I would love to hear comments below.